Damn

Some psychologist pegged the stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I don't remember denial or bargaining.

I remember anger.

"Damn." That's what I said when my brother called to tell me. I was on my way to the airport, trying to get to see Mom one last time, and I was mad. That someone hadn't phoned early enough for me to have caught an earlier flight and at Mom for not waiting for me.

And I remember a winter of depression.

But I think what I’ve felt the most over the last year is regret. Regret that Mom hadn’t had an easier, happier life. Regret that we hadn't talked more. Regret that we weren't close. Regret that I never forgave her for any of that.

But mostly regret that all our chances to change any of those things are gone.

Earth Day

It all started with a flat of marigolds and a little sunshine.

On Saturday morning, Brenda called from the nursery asking for a plant recommendation. I didn't used to like marigolds, but now am attracted to their tidy, non-support-needing form, their resistance to pests, and the fact that they look good from now through October. So B bought a flat of marigolds. And asked for my garden-planning advice.

And since, if I ever write a gardening book, it would be titled "I Do My Garden Planning With a Shovel," Steve and I packed up Noah and some gardening clothes and headed out.

By Sunday evening, we had imported more than four yards of soil, shifted 50+ large rocks/small boulders, and divided and transplanted almost every plant in Brenda's front garden. And planted a few marigolds.

It was a fine way to spend Earth Day.

And here are a few things we can all work into our lives everyday.

Earth Day Canada's Top 10 actions to help your environment

Park It

Leave your car at home for a day (or a week or a month) and try walking or biking. If work is too far away to walk, take public transit or carpool. One city bus eliminates the emissions of 40 cars.

Shut Down

Turn off the lights, the computer and the TV when they are not in use. Using only highly efficient and money saving appliances can reduce the electricity consumption of an average household to one tenth of the US average.

Where's The Beef?

Try eating meat-free at least one day a week. A meat-based diet requires seven times more land than a plant-based diet. Livestock production is responsible for more climate change gasses than all the motor vehicles in the world.

Eat It

Choose foods produced organically, locally and in season. Support your regional farmers & farming industry: buying locally and in season is better for the environment than buying foods that have been shipped hundreds of kilometers to your local market. “Eating locally... may be one of the most important ways we save ourselves and the planet.” – David Suzuki

Let It Rot

Put a composter in your backyard or use your green bin to reduce household waste. Composting organics has two key benefits: it reduces the amount of waste going to landfills and when added to your garden, helps nourish soil and plants.

Don't Be Idle

Turn off your car's engine if stopped for more than 10 seconds. If every driver of a light duty vehicle avoided idling by five minutes a day, collectively, we would save 1.8 million litres of fuel per day, almost 4500 tonnes of GHG emissions, and $1.7 million in fuel costs each day (assuming fuel costs are $0.95/L).

Keep Your Eye On The Temp

Set your thermostat above room temperature in the summer (for A/C) and below room temperature in the winter. For each degree you adjust, you can save five per cent on your utility bill and one per cent on your energy use.

Bright Ideas

Replace incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs (CFLs). A CFL uses only 25 per cent as much energy as an incandescent bulb and lasts 10 times longer.

Don't Dump It - Blue Box It!

The simple act of recycling has more impact on the environment that the average Canadian thinks. The amount of wood and paper North Americans throw away each year is enough to heat five million homes for 200 years.

Tell Someone

Tell someone what you’re doing to make the world a better place. Support the cause. Encourage them to get involved too!

The incredible shrinking woman

I've re-joined Weight Watchers in a concerted effort to find myself (I know I must be under this veneer of fat). The result is that I'm eating so healthfully. Weight Watchers works on a points system, with many vegetables having a zero points value. So to keep from being hungry, I'm eating way more vegetables than I had been.


And I'm experiencing hunger in a new way. I don't spend my days with a grumbling stomach, but I actually get hungry at mealtimes. For so long, I'd been maintaining a constant input of food, and rarely had the chance to feel hunger.


Crazy, n'est-ce pas?


So two weeks in, I'm down 4.4 pounds, and up about 40 servings of vegetables.


And just for fun, here's a completely unrelated photo. From B's fashion show, it's the model swinging thingies. Photo courtesy of Georgia Straight.

Circus family

Last Friday, my sister's store, Riot, held its annual spring fashion show. The theme was the circus, and it was an amazing show. Models twirled batons, did acrobatics and gymnastics, whipped thingies around on the end of strings, hula hooped, while wearing some of the groovy stuff available at Riot.

My brother, Mike the circus strong man, was the M.C., my nephew Ryan tended bar. My sister, Robin, blew up a lot of balloons; my nephew, Henry, was behind the scenes directing the spotlight. Steve and I gave away door prizes, and my niece, Leona, modelled clothes and demoed a cartwheel. A family affair.

Me the Ringmaster, Lightning Robin, Brenda and Strongman Mike

Ryan and Brenda

Acrobatic Leona & Mike

I'm pretty sure I wore this in the 80s -- less the clown nose.

All photos: Rod Frew

We Tube

So.

I and my sisters and their daughters are on YouTube. Isn't it great to have creative friends?

Warning: there is brief nudity (no, not me!). It's nothing you haven't seen in pretty much any movie you've rented recently, but if you don't want to see it, close your eyes when you see the caption 'Hairdresser by day' and count to five slowly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFX4mRSwe1g

And speaking of YouTube, I love Joan Jett's cover of the Mary Tyler Moore show theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nizTZlwN7Iw

Tragedy!

We had some computer work done, and I've lost all my favourites on Google. Some are not a problem to have lost, because I can Google (yes, it's a verb) them again, but I had garden plans, health facts, decorating ideas, kids' games and education sites, recipes, music & lyrics, entertainment links, my friends' blogs(!), hairstyles, grammar rules, all SORTS of useful and little-known tidbits, and now they're GONE, all gone.

Ooooh, the pain.

Help me! What are your favourite sites?

International Women's Day

So many important milestones pass right by, and I'm too busy looking at my feet to notice.

But my friend, Ali, gave me the heads up on this one.

My Dad is cool

I spent most of this week hanging out with my Dad at VGH while he was waiting for surgery. He was released today; he's good. I'm tired.

The picture tells you of my Dad's enjoyment of gardening (10' tall sunflowers) and of his practical fashion sense (he took a pair of scissors to his shirtsleeves one hot summer day).

Super Noah

You know those irritating parents who think that their kid is so smart, so cute, the first kid ever to (insert childhood milestone that every kid routinely achieves)? Who can only talk about their kids and how fabulous they are?

Whatever. Get over it.

I've been saving up a few of my darling boy's cute-isms, just for you.

Career aspiration: Superhero.
Should you be interested, he is happy to speak at length about the powers he'll possess when he's a grownup (resistance to earthquakes, bedtimes, naps and doing things himself).

Super-creative:
When we queried Noah as to whether his creation was a flower or a cat, Noah put both hands out, in a clear demonstration of frustration and stated, "It's just art, Mama. It's just ART!"

Super-smart:
At speech therapy, he mis-identified a hexagon as an octagon. The therapist counted the six sides, and asked, "Are you sure?" Noah paused, looked thoughtful, then counted aloud, one to eight, then said, "No. That's not an octagon. Sorry. I don't know the word for that." (The assessment revealed he has the vocabulary of an average teenager.)

Super-philosophical:
Noah was expressing his irritation with having to hurry so he could get to daycare and me and Steve to work (a new thing for us), he stopped, sighed and said, "Oh well. That's the way it is. It's just a new life for us."

Isn't he super?

(Costume courtesy of 'Superhero Starter Kit' from Uncle Brian and Aunt Ann.)

Here it is

I know you've been desperately waiting for a picture of Brenda's bathroom.

Ta da!



New lighting, new taps, and plenty o' elbow grease and paint. (The wall tiles were hidden under the 70s cedar panelling.)

Love, love love

Last year, I posted a list of some of the things I love.

And I still love all those things.

Plus . . .

I love fingerless gloves. I love my new ring (it was my Mom's). I love that Steve lets me put my cold feet on him to warm myself up. I love a soft scarf on a cool day. I love slippers that keep my ankles warm. I love Spanish champagne. I love Brentwood Bay Lodge & Spa's "Simply Amazing Spa Getaway" (where we spent last weekend!) I love a good massage. I love Steve's triceps. I love goat cheese and pear.

I love that my five-year-old son uses the word "appendages" correctly. I love that Noah can choose his own clothes and dress himself. I love it when Steve packs my lunch. I love that it's February and my daffodils are up. I love that my friends volunteer at Gather & Give. I love that I'm going back to paid work with an organization that does good.

I love Wake Up Rosemary shampoo. I love Hungarian champagne. I love sipping champagne with Steve while we laugh our heads off at a movie (even if it has a dumb ending, which serves only to reinforce cultural stereotypes).

I love that you take the time to come visit.

And there's always champagne.

What do you love?

She says it's her birthday

Saturday was my sister, Brenda's birthday. She threw a barn-burner party not just to celebrate the successful passage of another year, but to give herself the deadline of completing a renovation of her main bathroom.

Meeting the deadline kept her up until 2 or 3 a.m. for the three days before her party, and required the help of a few cheerful volunteers, but met it was, even if the paint was barely dry. When B gets around to sending her pics, I'll let you see the room's fabulousness.

I'm sure most parties don't start with a bathroom tour, but B isn't most people. Her party was attended by folks ranging from age 15 to 60, and included family and co-workers, a local politician, a few musicians, an ex-husband and his girlfriend, an ex-boyfriend, Commercial Drive business owners, a film editor, a home stager, a lawyer, an actor, and an office administrator, just to give y'all an idea.

B and I sang "Landslide," accompanied by Ed on guitar and Abby on drums. We rocked.

I really do have a great bunch of siblings, but since it's B's birthday, let's make it all about her. She's fab. She's funny. She's flirty. She makes a wonderful cup of tea. She's fun. She's a great cook. She's addicted to cel phone games. She's a good mother. She's uber-stylish. She's so smart. She's an exceptional dancer. She's a successful business owner. She's irreverent. She's honest. And (not that looks are important) she's beautiful.
Go B!

Re-org

Sorry about the news gap from November to January. I had no idea that being sad would take so much energy. But since I have enough work trying to keep current news posted, I doubt I'll go back and fill in the gap.

For the past two weeks, I've been working like a rented mule at the Burnaby Hospice Society Thrift Store. Up from my normal Tuesday shift, I was at the store every day last week except Saturday. What started out as packing up toys and Christmas accoutrements escalated into a full-scale clear-out, cleaning and re-merchandising of the housewares and kitchen sections. And at the same time, other volunteers were beautifying the clothing section.

It may not sound like it, but it was a ton of fun. It was a lot of work, but the joy I get from creating order out of chaos made up for it.

In the hopes that good information will help maintain the new orderliness, I’ve offered to produce a volunteer training manual and an as-needed volunteer newsletter. The Thrift Store’s been operating for almost a year, and lines of communication are jagged at best. It’s been a learn-as-you-go training program, and I think it’s time to record some of the learned lessons.

(As much as I’d like to believe that a couple of good communication tools will ‘fix’ everything, I understand it’s not necessarily the case. In work situations, when faced with a client who thinks an ad or brochure is a magic bullet, I note that if an education campaign was all that was needed to cure society’s ills, the entire western world would be non smoking.)

I’ll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, stop by and check out the new order.

This could explain a few things

I was secretly hoping to be Zoe, but this could explain why I find Ernie so incredibly irritating.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Happy Birthday

Noah turned 5 today. He really is a lovely, happy, funny, thoughtful, cooperative lad. As evidence of his new maturity, for the first time, Noah did not cry after we sang him Happy Birthday.

And if I could find my digital camera (this gives you some idea of the state of my office) you'd see what a big, happy boy he is.

But just in case you'd forgotten, he was once a small, happy boy.


Daddy, Mama, and Noah
October 2002

And here he is last year on his 4th birthday, post-tears.